SITUATION: Changing the morning diaper of a child between 18 months and two years old.

ADULT SAYS: "Stop kicking while I'm changing your diaper."

CHILD HEARS: "Kick me in the crotch as hard as you possibly can, like you're Charlie Brown finally getting a shot at that football while Lucy isn't paying attention because she's staring at a pack of wolverines attacking a bunny, and laugh like a hyena full of nitrous oxide when I collapse on the floor praying to every diety throughout human history to end the pain and return to me the gift of sight."

NOTE: Depending on age of child and angle of attack, you may fail to hear actual laughter due to your state of unconsciousness.