Not John Kerry. He makes things happen instantly!

Kerry Unveils Plan to Create Manufacturing Jobs During Visit to NH Factory

If this man can create manufacturing jobs simply by visiting a factory, then why the hell is he running for President? He should be ferried at government expense from factory to factory, plant to plant, assembly to assembly, working his unique brand of employment magic until the national industrial engine is fully manned.

How does he do it? I can only guess that Senator Forbes Kerry strutted into this particular New Hampshire factory foreman's office flanked by two representatives of Manchester's unemployed class, peeled a thousand C-notes off the $525 million wad he carries with him at all times, and declared "these two men now work for you, and you shall pay them $50,000 this year using this trifling amount of money I have just placed into your wretched hands." That seems the kind of common touch for which the man is so well known.

Perhaps his next step should be unleashing a plan to create clearer headlines during his next visit to campaign HQ.