Late last night, I realized I was missing something.

I've owned a house on Mt. Desert Island for nearly a year. It's a nice house, but it has a problem. It doesn't have a name.

Martha Stewart's 26-acre estate in Seal Harbor is named "Skylands." My one-acre compound may not be as large or pink as hers, but dammit it deserves a name.

So for the next few days, I will be considering what to call the grounds that make up my island home. It must be pretentious enough to instill fear in the townspeople, yet warm enough to not frighten my children. I'm considering something with the word "farm" in it, since we have a handful of chickens and I have eaten a few tomatoes that I grew. Something containing "wood" would work, since we're surrounded by trees. But I'm open to anything. I really need a nice name to paint on a rock next to the "Severe Tire Damage" sign I'm planning on putting near our driveway to discourage tourists from turning around there.

So suggest away, in the comments section. Besides the "farm" and "wood" explanations I gave above, here are a few other things to keep in mind:

• Our dog, Elly, enjoys running around and urinating on all areas of the grounds


• The wind chill should be under -40 later tonight


• Some famous Mt. Desert Island landowners, besides Martha: David Rockefeller, Caspar Weinberger, Jimmy Buffett, Paul Newman, Connie Chung and Maury Povich


• I call the property a "compound" because we have a nice big shed, a smaller garden shed, a chicken coop, and a doghouse


• The word "lobster" is not acceptable in any function whatsoever